Humor https://community.pennmush.org/taxonomy/term/11 en Getting to the "Point" of Wordplay https://community.pennmush.org/node/12975 <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Getting to the &quot;Point&quot; of Wordplay</span> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"><span>Bodin</span></span> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden">Thu, 2015-04-16 21:45</span> <div class="field field--name-topic field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/11" hreflang="en">Humor</a></div> </div> <div class="node__links"> <ul class="links inline"><li class="comment-forbidden"></li></ul> </div> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Thu Apr 16 21:07:57 2015</p> <p> Bodin says, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You often get a bunch of crap you hate."<br /> Bodin says, "But the ones that are good are VERY good"<br /> Bodin says, "Ok, so Gump said the same thing in less words, sew me"<br /> Bodin says, "Er.. yeah, that's what I meant--better than being sued"<br /> Wil is Dumb Wilco sews Bodin.<br /> Bodin says, "Ow. I was wrong."<br /> Wil is Dumb Wilco says, "Now you are wise."<br /> Bodin says, "Actually, that's 'whys.' "Why would you actually try to sew me?""<br /> Wil is Dumb Wilco says, "I dunno, just wanted to needle you."<br /> Bodin says, "You're pretty sharp, I must admit"<br /> Wil is Dumb Wilco says, "I'm not smart, just well-thread."<br /> Bodin says, "You're just trying to athimble a bunch of sewing-related words"<br /> Wil is Dumb Wilco says, "It fits my pattern."<br /> Bodin says, "But, spools it isn't? You're just lying to me right in the 'eye'"<br /> Wil is Dumb Wilco says, "You may have a point."<br /> Bodin says, "Arrgh!"<br /> Bodin says, "Ok, you win. Hay,stack that stuff somewhere else"<br /> Bodin says, "And with that, I have become less wise."<br /> Bodin says, "You did have me in stitches though!"<br /> Wil is Dumb Wilco is glad you found another pun. Thought that if you couldn't you'd get crochet-y.<br /> Bodin says, "Darn you!"<br /> Bodin says, "You spin quite a yarn"<br /> Bodin says, "I can come up with a few, but when it's retricted to sewing, your punnage looms over me!"<br /> Wil is Dumb Wilco is just trying to cotton on.<br /> Bodin says, "Weave a lot to discuss when it comes to all the different aspects of what goes into repairing clothing."<br /> Bodin says, "Not to mention tailoring. Hem. Hem. *scuse me*"<br /> Wil is Dumb Wilco says, "It's a pretty broad category but I'm not gonna knitpick."<br /> Bodin says, "Well, dame it, why not? Wool you consider it?"<br /> Wil is Dumb Wilco says, "Not as long as the puns are so silky."<br /> Bodin says, "This could be a lot more fun if we got cotton gin--all the way to the bottom of the bottle"</p> </div> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-above comment-wrapper"> </section> Fri, 17 Apr 2015 02:45:06 +0000 Bodin 12975 at https://community.pennmush.org April First https://community.pennmush.org/node/9957 <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">April First</span> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"><span>walker</span></span> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden">Mon, 2014-03-31 23:28</span> <div class="field field--name-topic field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/11" hreflang="en">Humor</a></div> </div> <div class="node__links"> <ul class="links inline"><li class="comment-forbidden"></li></ul> </div> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Why yes, it _is_ April first. And yes, there _is_ something going on, as of Midnight, April 1st, Eastern Time. (I'm going to bed early so couldn't wait for M*U*S*H midnight. Sorry!)</p> <p>A note to those who immediately connected a few minutes after @shutdown - it ended up taking me about 20 minutes to get everything properly set up and running, firewalled, etc. So if you attempted a connection during that time that seemed like it should've worked but didn't, then try again.</p> <p>(And a few people were seeing nothing - may have happened to others. Hopefully that's fixed! If there's any more issues, let me know here!)</p> </div> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-above comment-wrapper"> </section> Tue, 01 Apr 2014 04:28:31 +0000 walker 9957 at https://community.pennmush.org Unicode unisucks https://community.pennmush.org/node/1146 <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Unicode unisucks</span> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"><span>raevnos</span></span> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden">Wed, 2012-10-31 15:48</span> <div class="field field--name-topic field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/11" hreflang="en">Humor</a></div> </div> <div class="node__links"> <ul class="links inline"><li class="comment-forbidden"></li></ul> </div> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>The more I look into retrofitting unicode support into Penn, the more I'm convinced it would be less work to make a new server from scratch. In perl.</p> </div> <section class="field field--name-field-blog-comments field--type-comment field--label-above comment-wrapper"> </section> Wed, 31 Oct 2012 20:48:39 +0000 raevnos 1146 at https://community.pennmush.org Ugh...Stupid me >. https://community.pennmush.org/node/137 <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Ugh...Stupid me &gt;.</span> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"><span>Renee</span></span> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden">Wed, 2003-09-03 01:10</span> <div class="field field--name-topic field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/11" hreflang="en">Humor</a></div> </div> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>I swear I need to start reading better! </p> <p>A few days ago I restarted my game on a new Database but I saved the old Database in a .zip file then deleted the PENNMUSH folder and re-downloaded the PENNMUSH files. Anyway, the next day I wanted to re-run the old database (The old Database was PENNMUSH 1.7.7 P13) just incase we had to move back to it. So I @shutdown the MUSH and swapped Database files...Launch the runner...And whadda know it closes after a second...So I logon to M*U*S*H and ask on the hardcoding channel what could be wrong...Everything looked normal but the runner wouldn't remain open...</p> <p>Well someone said that it may have been a problem with the lines in the indb file...So I got a program and ran the indb through it...The runner still closed. Next I got a program called 'Textpad' to check and make sure the lines were ok...Well the lines looked normal but the runner wouldn't stay open...Well after that I had to go to work...So I swapped the files again so my game could be up while I worked. </p> <p>When I got back, I couldn't stop wondering what I did wrong. Well, when I got back my Hardcoder was finaly on (I can hardcode but he's better with it) I told him about the problem and...Dear God...I felt so dumb when he told me...I was actually on PennMUSH 1.7.6 Patch 13...I was suppost to be on 1.7.7 Patch 13...</p> <p>I had to hear him laughing at me the whole night -.-</p> </div> Wed, 03 Sep 2003 06:10:00 +0000 Renee 137 at https://community.pennmush.org Cheese Wheel Coding https://community.pennmush.org/node/12 <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Cheese Wheel Coding</span> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"><span>Ellis</span></span> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden">Wed, 2002-11-27 02:07</span> <div class="field field--name-topic field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/11" hreflang="en">Humor</a></div> </div> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>For anyone who can't code expertly, but who found themselves attempting to create a MUSH, the following story will make you laugh. For the coders who see themselves in this, you should laugh, too, even if you go "Hey!"</p> <p>One night, I was angry at one of our coders who was notorious for never coding anything we needed but is always mucking about. I was coding something (or attempting to), and the head coder wasn't on. A non-coding staffer was on with me, and I began grousing and cursing. He asks what I intend to do about +media code. I tell him, (in the fashion that one can tell their good friends) "I have no [censored] clue and if no one gets their butt onto coding one, I'll do it as a bboard." So, he senses I'm a bit annoyed and I tell him about the coder and the ever-changing Parent Room, and how when I ask for something, I get something else. He tells me that coding works like this:</p> <p>Head WIZ: "I need a subway code in 3 weeks."<br /> Coder: "Okay"</p> <p>1 week later:<br /> Head WIZ: Did you do the subway code?<br /> Coder: Working on it. But I did get the parent rooms to output to all green if everyone in the room is female.</p> <p>2 weeks later:<br /> Head WIZ: How's the subways coming?<br /> Coder: I didn't do those, but I will. I fancied up the +dsay, though.</p> <p>3 weeks later:<br /> Head WIZ: How's progress in code?<br /> Coder: Great! I made a cheese-wheel factory that creates real cheese-wheel objects that you can eat.<br /> Head WIZ: WHERE'S MY [censored] SUBWAY!?</p> </div> Wed, 27 Nov 2002 08:07:00 +0000 Ellis 12 at https://community.pennmush.org Shooting yourself in the foot https://community.pennmush.org/node/10 <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Shooting yourself in the foot</span> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"><span>javelin</span></span> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden">Tue, 2002-11-26 22:33</span> <div class="field field--name-topic field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/11" hreflang="en">Humor</a></div> </div> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>--- Shooting Yourself in the Foot ---</p> <p>C: You shoot yourself in the foot.</p> <p>C++: You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them<br /> all in the foot. Providing emergency medical care is impossible since you<br /> can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others<br /> and saying, "That's me over there."</p> <p>FORTRAN: You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of<br /> toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets,<br /> you continue anyway because you have no exception handling ability.</p> <p>Modula-2: After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in<br /> this language, you shoot yourself in the head.</p> <p>COBOL: USEing a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place<br /> ARM.HAND.FINGER on HAND.GUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to<br /> HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.</p> <p>LISP: You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which<br /> you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which you<br /> shoot yourself in the appendage which holds...</p> <p>BASIC: You shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems,<br /> continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.</p> <p>FORTH: Foot in yourself shoot.</p> <p>APL: You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how<br /> to do it in fewer characters.</p> <p>Pascal: The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.</p> <p>SNOBOL: If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you fail,<br /> shoot yourself in the right foot.</p> <p>Concurrent Euclid: You shoot yourself in somebody else's foot.</p> <p>HyperTalk: Put the first bullet of the gun into the foot left of leg of<br /> you. Answer the result.</p> <p>Motif: You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the<br /> trajectory, the bullet, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles<br /> of the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun<br /> jams.</p> <p>Unix:<br /> % ls<br /> foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o<br /> % rm * .o<br /> rm: .o: No such file or directory<br /> % ls<br /> %</p> <p>XBase: Shooting yourself is no problem. If you want to shoot yourself in<br /> the foot, you'll have to use Clipper.</p> <p>Paradox: Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can, too.</p> <p>Revelation: You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot just as soon as<br /> you figure out what all these bullets are for.</p> <p>Visual Basic: You'll shoot yourself in the foot, but you'll have so much<br /> fun doing it that you won't care.</p> <p>Prolog: You tell your program that you want to be shot in the foot. The<br /> program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't allow it to<br /> explain.</p> <p>370 JCL: You send your foot down to MIS with a 4000-page document explaining<br /> how you want it to me shot. Three years later, your foot comes back deep<br /> fried.</p> <p>PennMUSH 1.5:<br /> &amp;echo Object=$echo *:"%0<br /> Object - Set.</p> <p>echo Oh, I know how to do that; @dest me<br /> Object says, "Oh, I know how to do that"<br /> Object has left.</p> <p>-----<br /> Author unknown.</p> <p>Yet more ways to shoot yourself in the foot:</p> <p>On Pern (several)<br /> PernMUSH: Kill is disabled on PernMUSH</p> <p>PernMUSH: You finally code up a way to shoot yourself and Ambar has to take<br /> the machine down.</p> <p>PernMUSH: You shoot at your foot but instead hit a little green firelizard.<br /> Talea cheers.</p> <p>PernMUSH: You're about to shoot yourself in the foot when Tabbifli runs up,<br /> explains that the gun is non-canon, and @dests you.</p> <p>TinyKrynn: TinyKrynn isn't up often enough for you to shoot yourself in the<br /> foot.</p> <p>Belgariad: Silk has already @dested your foot by accident (this one's for<br /> dinos, folks).</p> <p>TooMUSH: You miss, and shoot your gold, accidentally. Never mind, they're<br /> cheap here.</p> <p>SC: Marlena won't let you shoot yourself in the foot. It's a tinyplot.</p> <p>DragonsFire: "@shoot": MUSE does not recognize this command.</p> <p>DD: You don't have time to fire before you die of shame for even logging<br /> in.</p> <p>Amber: Only Royalty can shoot themselves in the foot.</p> <p>Dune: Whoops, forgot about that personal shield. *boom*</p> <p>Space Madness: You're about to shoot yourself in the foot but Grod grabs<br /> your head, sticks it in a blender, and laughs, then kills you first.</p> <p>TinyTIM: Go on, shoot yourself in the foot, see if we care.</p> <p>Spellbound: @shoot my_foot<br /> [five-minute pause]<br /> Conekshun cloced by forenn hosst.</p> <p>PernWorld: You need Jazmyn's permission to shoot yourself in the foot.</p> <p>FurryMUCK: Someone takes the gun away and starts using it as a </p> <p>ManyColoredLandMUSH: Why shoot yourself in the foot? There's no one around<br /> anyway. (Obscure Injoke)</p> <p>ManyColoredLandMUSH: You write up complicated code to allow any player to<br /> shoot himself or herself in the foot, get it half done, and lose net<br /> access.</p> <p>EarthseaMUSH: Sparrowhawk trashed the database. You can't find your gun.<br /> (Reeeeal Obscure Injoke)</p> <p>Taeis: We've got reams and reams of information on how to shoot yourself in<br /> the foot. But before you can, we need a site.</p> <p>Mua'kaar: That's not a gun, it's a hammer of the Gods.</p> <p>Two Moons: You can shoot yourself in the foot just as soon as whatshername<br /> gives you Shoot Access.</p> <p>Apple: We'll let you shoot yourself, but it'll cost you a bundle.</p> <p>IBM: You insert a clip into the gun, wait half an hour, and it goes off in<br /> random directions. If a bullet hits your foot, you're lucky.</p> <p>Microsoft: Object "Foot" will be included in the next release. You can<br /> upgrade for $500. (Sorry, Poldurna. :) )</p> <p>Microsoft: You can shoot yourself in the foot, but the method is buried in<br /> the docs somewhere.</p> <p>Cray: I knew you were going to shoot yourself in the foot.</p> <p>Hewlett-Packard: You can use this machine-gun to shoot yourself in the<br /> foot, but the firing pin is broken.</p> <p>NeXT: We don't sell guns anymore, just ammunition.</p> <p>SCO Open Desktop SCOPaint: You shoot yourself in the foot with a popgun.</p> <p>Sun: Just as soon as Solaris gets here, you can shoot yourself anywhere you<br /> want.</p> <p> -- C'trel, Kynn and Shalynra on TooMUSH</p> </div> Wed, 27 Nov 2002 04:33:00 +0000 javelin 10 at https://community.pennmush.org Big book of MUSH Humor https://community.pennmush.org/node/9 <span class="field field--name-title field--type-string field--label-hidden">Big book of MUSH Humor</span> <span class="field field--name-uid field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden"><span>javelin</span></span> <span class="field field--name-created field--type-created field--label-hidden">Tue, 2002-11-26 22:15</span> <div class="field field--name-topic field--type-entity-reference field--label-hidden field__items"> <div class="field__item"><a href="/taxonomy/term/11" hreflang="en">Humor</a></div> </div> <div class="clearfix text-formatted field field--name-body field--type-text-with-summary field--label-hidden field__item"><p>Welcome to the Big Book of MUSH Humor, a collection of jokes and witticisms from the MUSH world (as well as Javelin's test of the collaborative book features of this site's software!)</p> <p>Know a MUSH-related joke? Add on to this book. Please try to keep humor "for all ages" as much as possible.</p> </div> Wed, 27 Nov 2002 04:15:00 +0000 javelin 9 at https://community.pennmush.org